As a single man, I often find myself the unwitting subject of some well-meaning individuals whom have made up their mind it is up to them to find me a mate. Though I have, on many occasions, asked them to focus their energies into more worthwhile pursuits, they still feel the need to try. Bless their misguided souls. Recently this led to a very interesting, and eye opening, conversation.
A woman, whom I know simply had my best interest in mind, told me she had someone perfect for me. I asked her how this could possibly be, since she doesn’t know for what I’m looking.
“She’s gorgeous! She’s tall, has long hair, cute dimples…”
The description went on like that for what seemed like forever. Every single attribute she rattled off was a physical one. Not a single note about character. Not a word about interests. No hint about ambitions.
I thanked her, and politely said I’d think about it, and get back to her.
As I thought about it more that evening, I pondered how telling it is that so much emphasis, or rather ALL emphasis in this case, is put on physical traits instead of personal. Now, I’m not going to sit here and lie and say there wasn’t a time when that description would have done it for me. Once upon a time, you bet your ass it would have! But at some point along the way, I grew up. I have no idea when it happened, it just did.
As I think back on the women I’ve asked out, which is a much shorter list than you might imagine, there are a few things some of them may have had in common. However, there is one major thing ALL of them have in common: they were all women of substance, with whom I wanted to team up.
What do I mean by that? It’s simple, really. In addition to the fabulous character qualities that put them on a whole other level, they also showed the ability to make me a better person. They made me WANT to be a better human being than I was yesterday. And there were areas in which I could do the same for them. So in addition to being women for whom I genuinely cared and had feelings, each was a woman I could see being a terrific partner in all aspects, and together we could be an unstoppable force ready to take on the world.
So, what *am* I looking for in a woman? I can’t really answer that. I just know it when I see it, which kind of makes it difficult for someone else to look for it on my behalf. So thanks for the concern, but trust me when I say: I’ll handle it from here.
One thought on “Thoughts On Being A Single Man, a.k.a. A Target For Fix-Ups”
Enrique, you’re right…I think she was just thinking of how wonderful of a person you are and wants you to be happy in every area of your life….sometimes we think we can help out in the area of love. However, I do think that you know what is best for you and what will work for you. I also think that you will know her when you see her, interact with her and converse with her. And then some how …. and I can’t explain it but, it goes even deeper than that! Good luck to you with your new location and everything that you are doing there. Much love to you!
Felicia R. Liggins