I intended my next post to be about my recent trip home, to share pictures and my favorite anecdotes from said trip. And I will write that post soon, to be sure. But as I lay awake in the wee small hours, which is an all-too-frequent occurrence, I decided to check out social media, and see what was going on.

I popped on Facebook, and something sad happened. As I scrolled through some old messages, I noticed a cluster of 5 messages in a row, from 5 separate people, all of whom had one thing in common: they’re no longer my friends. Yes, they’ve all deleted me from their Facebook friends list, but that’s not what I mean, for there are a few people with whom I am friends and they do not use the popular social media application. No, I mean in “real life.” For one reason or another, in the very recent past, they have decided to cut ties.

As I stared blankly at the names, I became more and more mystified. When had I become so toxic? Sure, the events of the past year had certainly changed me, and I will be the first to admit I have not been nearly as happy-go-lucky as before. But these people were trusted, valued friends. Friends upon whom I could count, regardless of the situation. How had things gone so awry that they felt the need to disavow my existence? I even tried to get to the bottom of things, in an effort to attempt to remain the damage while I was in Michigan, but they refused to talk.

There I was, in the dark stillness, contemplating these questions, when something wonderful happened. I began to scrolling. Scrolling back up through the most recent messages. Messages from individuals who have continued to offer support through all the ugliness of these many months. Through all the deaths, murder, and disease. Through all the turmoil and drama. Through all the uncertainty, doubt, and anguish. Through the pain, through the sadness, and through the soul crushing depression.

These, THESE are my friends. These are the people upon whom I can truly count. While the others were there for the sprint, these folks have proven to be there with endurance. They may never know just how important they have been this past year, but it sure is good to know they will be there for me in the future as well.